Accusations fly about the real reason church attendance is increasing. In her mind it is not about Christ, but about women. She is not convinced that the Lord is able to make her husband desire church this much. There must be another reason for his increased desire. Of course, her non-attendance is not at his request, but her own. So they are now at a stand still concerning how to move forward with this issue. The other problem is that money is also being used in her mind toward a movement that enslaves the minds of people and should be used to address real charitable issues like curing cancer or diabetes. The joy and excitement that surrounded the beginning of their relationship is deteriorating into disagreement after disagreement.
This man decides to press on in the midst of his wife’s complaint and she decides to remain with him as well. His desire for children is increasing as well, but he is terrified by what will happen and how they will be influenced by their differing worldviews. He knows that this is not the ideal environment for bringing a child into this chaotic marriage of differing opinions and differing views concerning what it means to be a Christian and what responsibilities a believer in Christ has. The believer in Jesus does not own himself and is in fact the property of God. Of course, the unbeliever is in the dark concerning their true master.
The constant accusations of his wife concerning his real reason for increased church attendance begins to discourage him and he changes his present view on his church attendance in favor of staying with her at home on Sunday’s invoking what he believes is his responsibility of caring for the things of the world, how he may please his wife.
Do you think he should stop attending church as a way to increase fellowship with his wife and as a way to care for the things of the world, how he may please his wife?
Sorta agree- met a delightful wee lady once whose family were regular church goers. So…? Didn’t work out so haven’t been back since!
Church is only part of the believers responsibility and blessing. Jesus saves alone.
He is setting himself up for a mighty failure. She will be more convinced that her accusations were right. He is giving in to the world and Satin and is in danger of losing his soul and his wife…..
Intriguing situation…I would chime in that any day of the week should be able to fill the void that his wife is looking to fill. If Sunday is sacred to him, then perhaps it is an act of generosity and sacrifice on her part to make sure he gets what he needs on that day.
Ultimately, though, it’s about justice. Justice and consultation in a marriage or relationship. This scenario doesn’t sound like justice is at the center of their decision-making process…
I agree, he just makes himself look guilty. You are supposed to congregate with believers to keep your faith strong. Staying home is not going to be a good idea. Instead of bringing her into the faith, she is dragging him away.
Yay, I found part 2. He should continue with his walk and not change his view. In the long run, his wife will have the opportunity to see the real power of God and come over to his side but if he stops going and stops demonstrating what a Christian is, then it will be harder to show her.
He should not refrain from church if he feels led to do so. He needs to be faithful to GOD so that he will be able to be a better husband to his wife. If he leaves church to placate her flesh, he is no good to her. His first responsibility is to lead her with grace and love, pointing the way towards GOD.
It appears that this is not about faith, God, Sunday, or giving to others. It is about a relationship that has elements of distrust and feeling unsafe in it. A loving relationship finds the way to support the spouse. The question is: Are the individuals in this relationship willing to commit to a long term relationship that enhances both of their lives? If one or both are not, then many issues will arise as the “problem” without recognizing the core issue. Thank you for posing this issue–it is an important one–Barb
I would rather let the Apostle Paul answer this. “To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.” 1 Corinthians 7:12-17 My wife and I have been having church in our home for several years now. Why not invite others from his church into his home so his wife can get to know them? Just a thought.
not many touch the scriptures you just posted when discussing or presenting the unequal yoking thing,…..very nice,…….
Ahhh, the perils and difficulties of a relationship not based upon the Lord!
Did she not know that he was a devout Christian when she married him? Did she not know that he faithfully attended church? That he believed firmly in tithing to the church? If so, then what right does she now have to cause a quarrel? If his “religion” bothered her in the first place, then why did she marry him? Me thinks that she doesn’t have the answer to this, even if she thinks she does…
Did he not know that this kind of friction would take place? Was he delusional about the potential for strife? Was his trust in the Lord concerning this relationship, or was it in his own will and power to handle the situation? Me thinks he is beginning to see that the Lord is not trite with His words, and that he might have to reexamine his motives…
Nonetheless, they’re in it now, and he has taken the first step towards compromising his faith (assuming that his church attendance is a part of his walk in following the Lord). If he continues, he will be lost, as well as her. Repentance and renewal of his faith is the message that he needs to hear from his brethren.
By staying the course, she will be forced to make a decision. And isn’t that the point of the Gospel for everyone who hears?
A believer should not yoke up with a non-believer!!!!!!!!!
He should keep attending church. Others already said it well, so I’ll leave it at that. Angie
Perhaps this is just magnifying a deeper issue within their marriage. I have been in the husband’s place. However, my husband knows that church is important to me. He has tried going to a few services with me, but it wasn’t for him. I feel like if I force it down his throat and force him to go, it isn’t meaningful to him and it fosters some resentment. So, I let him pursue his own spiritual path and he lets me pursue mine. I wish he would come along with me to Church so that our foundation can be that much deeper. However, he did try because he knew it was something important to me. It’s all I can ask. However, his wife doesn’t even seem to be willing to try and that is a huge issue in and of itself, even without their disagreement about spiritual life thrown in.
Do you have children? If so, how will they be raised?
We don’t have children yet and are still deciding. What we’re learning towards right now is to raise them as Catholic (my religion) and then when they get to a certain age, let them decide for themselves what faith/spiritual path they want to follow. I still don’t know how I’ll handle “why does daddy not go to church?” I can explain it how faith is personal to everyone and their time to decide will come, but young children don’t have the logic to understand that. I also don’t want to bribe them either. So, there’s a lot of back and forth right now, mostly within myself. My husband is really nuetral on the idea right now and is kind of leaving it to me since it’s an important value to me.
The greatest gift you can give your husband is to live like Christ. Take responsibility for your relationship with Jesus and read your Bible and pray everyday. Live a life as much as is possible filled with love. It will require work and be hard at times, but this creates the best atmosphere for your husband to see in action what it means to be a Christian. Children need guidance and need to be taught how to respect authority and learn early how to love, so that when they enter relationships their mates will have a real treat and not unnecessary abuse or trouble due to the fact they have not seen true love, in action.
I would say that a marriage of mixed views is a train wreck waiting to happen. The only thing that the husband can do is to cling to God and pray for the solidarity of the marriage. He shouldn’t quit going to church!
do i (we) think he should stop attending church as a way to increase fellowship with his wife and as a way to care for the things of the world, how he may please his wife?
yet again! i love your site!!!!!……so,..i “found” part two,…but where is part three!!!!????? lol,….you’re killin us here!!!!!…..lol….
Thank you for all your comments.
roger,…i said this already, but i love the way you have posed the thought provoking responses found on your pages! group interaction can be really cool, huh??? my email is “johnnydoe2012@hotmail.com” if you want to, toss me an email and i’ll write you back,……thanks,…back to work now,…toksoon