In the midst of many counselors telling him the decision to leave church is bad, he falls under his wife’s pressure and descends in his Christian walk and stops going to church anyway. The blatant beacon of a call to righteous living has been shunned for conformity to his wife’s wishes. Is she happier now that he has decided to stop attending church? Did the relationship skyrocket to a perfect love story of bliss? Everyone who has joined the ranks of marriage already knows that this plan cannot bring perfect bliss and happiness. The boundaries in marriage have been overstepped and his will is more and more conforming to the will of his wife. As she gains ground in her domination of his life’s decisions, he descends into despair wondering if his choices make any difference at all. While pondering life, he comes to the understanding that whether I go to church or stay home with my wife, life in my marriage is problematic. If God truly cared he would step in right away and change this situation for the better and yet I feel as though he has left me alone, but married. My friend calls me and asks whether or not he should just divorce and move on. The difficulty that he faces in his mind is too hot to handle and to cold to hold. He wonders if he is able to still be in control.
I reminded him that recorded in the Bible God hates divorce and his institution of marriage in its original plan was to be held until physical death occurred. Nowhere is death of happiness, death of joy, death of wealth, death of beauty, listed in the scripture as reasons for divorce. I also reminded him that sometimes we are dismayed by the “grass is greener effect” our minds make us think that someone else will be the ultimate solution to this dilemma and for many who remarry, ask them, they are still going through marital issues the second, third, or fourth time around. Running from issues and problems only make you weak and indecisive. However, I am not foolish enough to believe some couple pairs are not better paired than others. Read the comments on the first blog titled The Perfect Love Story and you will see that this is not the case.
As it is, I sit and wonder with the advice so consistent up until this point why the confusion in marriage and the divorce rate similar in the church as the world? Are we being flooded with too much information and not enough visible displays? How do we change the tide and place those who have long lasting marriages at the forefront to teach those who don’t. Please provide blogs of people who speak transparently about marriage and have the success (married at least a decade) to back up these claims.
photo by Vanessa