Girlfriend Experience


The day is April 25, 2003 and something happen this day that change my life. I can remember that my whole being was not the same. My tongue changed and the way in which I participated within in life was different. I met someone unlike no other. I was merely walking throughout life and enjoying the fruits of my labor, sort of speak, and then it hit me. My life is not complete. It requires an addition. I could remember the Lord saying within his word, everything is good, except for man to be alone. This sensation gripped me like no other. A passion began to burn that my mind began to wrestle with the implications of a relationship. I understood sharing myself would not be easy. For all of my life it was about self-preservation. The challenge of being yoked with someone may provide a magnification of potential, but there was also a potential risk I would loose myself.

What was I to do? Could I actually give up my life and receive something special in return? Did I have all the necessary tools to have something so rich and deep. The Bible says that my body would no longer be my own, but my wifes. I would now gain the ability for prayers to be hindered as recorded in 1 Peter 3:7. What a task God has given man. Oh! the sensation and passion of the first meeting is so powerful and so life changing this must be an indication that if lost, it could be regained.  I must engage this.

In the beginning of every relationship, including one with Christ, there should be a deep passion. This passion does not remain and must be regained by recalling it. Jesus tells the church of Ephesus, you do great works, but do not forget your first love and begin to do the first works again or else you will lose your lampstand. Husbands, you may provide financially and fix broken things in the home, but do not forget your first love or else you will lose your home. The girlfriend experience is that moment in time that captures your breathe and increases your heart’s response for action. But the initial experience changes and the cotton candy must move toward a richer meal of steak, rice and veggies. A meal that sustains for the days approaching and provide answers for the coming weather.


18 responses to “Girlfriend Experience

  1. Passion in Love is necessary. To learn that early on is a major life in having a well balance life of togetherness with the one. The one and the only. Blessings..

    • It is possible to float in love without passion for a time, but passion is essential if couples desire a vibrant and rich marriage. Couples must believe that lost passion may be regained, when they return to the first things they use to do.

  2. With His love we are sustained both in our personal and spiritual lives if we put Him first… Nice post… Darrell

  3. Gaylon L. Avery

    I’ve have often heard it said, “It takes two to make a marriage.” In my experience this is incorrect. It takes three: Jesus, the Bride and the Groom. Thanks for sharing.

  4. judithsmarkworld

    I like the last 2 lines “But the inital experience changes and the cotton candy must move toward a richer meal of steak, rice and veggies. A meal that sustains for the days approaching and provide answers for the coming weather.” They speak of themselves!

  5. I view passion as often a problem. Particularly in a new relationship. People begin to think passion IS love, rather than a pleasant side effect. Love is a decision and a habit. Passion is the mix of pleasant sensations the decision to stick it out with someone (or God) creates to reinforce the behavior. Passion waxes and wanes no matter how much we feed it, but love and compassion lasts as long as we make the effort. I don’t view love as an emotion. Emotion is just a small part of love.

  6. @Gaylon – Amen!
    I realized something, after all of the processing I’ve been doing on my blog, which you identified here. That new relationship I experienced was, indeed, nothing more than cotton candy. No substance to it, and it was beginning to make me sick.

    I wondered, though, if I was giving up too soon. Shouldn’t I have faith? Shouldn’t I maintain hope? Today, I realized something new. If a farmer breaks up the ground, plows the field, sows the seed, and waters and fertilizes that seed, does that farmer stay around and watch to see if the seed sprouts?

    Such with new relationships. If you’ve done all you can, and it is still in the cotton candy stage, then it’s time to open up to new possibilities. Thanks for the affirmation Roger. 🙂

  7. I love the last paragraph. It is so easy to get caught up in the daily life that you forget all about your first love (both your spouse and God). Thanks for the reminder!

  8. Well written and honest. I think passion is one key to a successful relationship. True it will naturally wax and wane, no one can sustain peak performance all of the time or it wouldn’t be ‘peak’. Whether the passion in a relationship is with God, as in the euphoria of revelation, or with another person, as in the feeling of being ‘in love’ as compared to lasting love, passion is a natural and important part of reminding us of why we are in the relationship in the first place. Complacency or a lack of passion will eventually lead to a dogmatic going through the motions instead of truly living ‘in Christ’. In marriage, it a lack of passion will result in a loveless marriage that becomes a legality rather than a spiritual bond. As anyone who has been in an extended relationship can tell you, passion comes and goes…and comes and goes again. It is part of the natural cycle and circle of life. Don’t quit or give up on the relationship because passion is gone for a time – have faith and nurture it so that it will come again. And when it is there, enjoy it, but don’t put the thrill of the passion ahead of the object of that passion (God or your partner). The problem is not passion, it is when a person can’t tell the difference between passion and lust (longing for the thrill of passion), and become fixated on passion’s excitement rather than on what the passion is really about.

    • Great response to this blog post. You have written a wonderful response. Part of the motivation for this blog is a response toward those who have the form of godliness, but have not actually entered into a relationship with Christ. If one is to come into a relationship with Jesus and never experience that initial passion there appears to be something wrong. When the glorious light of the gospel reaches the heart of an individual there should be the same explosion seen at Pentecost. A fire that burns for the message of Jesus to be spread throughout. That initial response when the love of your life enters in and you tell all your friends about this wonderful girl. If this never occurred and you’re married, this does not mean your marriage is doomed to fail, it simply means that you will have to work that much harder. In Christ the ‘good news’ is just to good to be without that initial explosion. My opinion here is that when explosions happen they all produce varying degrees of initial and lasting damage, the greater the explosion the greater the impact. No explosion and no impact.

  9. Very interesting analogy, particularly since a big part of one of my previous jobs was to blow things up. Explosions are destructive, yes, but it is important to note what is being destroyed or damaged. If what is destroyed is a lackluster complacency and settling for what one perceives to be their ‘lot’ to make way for a joyous celebration of God’s love or opening up to His gift to us by finding our spouse, then the destruction is a good thing. On the other hand, if what is destroyed is one’s faith in God or one’s commitment to their spouse leaving only the charred remains of a once loving relationship, then the destruction is a bad thing. Passion is yet another wonderful gift from God. We shouldn’t reject it or blame our misuse or abuse of it on Him.

  10. Great thoughts on the subject. I like the comparison of moving beyond the “cotton candy” to the “meat and potatoes.” But nothing quite compares to the fluffy, sweet beginnings that set your heart a twitter. Also really enjoyed reading the different comments posted on this. Thanks for the “follow”!

  11. I don’t think I have ever heard a religious relationship described in the terms of a romantic one but I must say, you definitely have something there. I agree that every relationship must be tended in order to be maintained. Thanks for sharing.
    Sincerely, john

  12. Awesome post and I love the corresponding pic!

  13. I’m not much for cotton candy myself 🙂

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